Parental Commitment Ceremony

What is a Parental Commitment Ceremony?

Sadly, not all relationships, including marriages, work out. Separation and divorce can have a traumatic and lasting effect on children. This is because, very often, children blame themselves when parents spilt, even though they will be told differently.

A Parental Commitment Ceremony is designed to reassure children that whilst as parents they are ending their relationship or “consciously uncoupling”, their love and commitment to honour their parental responsibilities remain.

When do you have a Parental Commitment Ceremony?

If parents are married, it might be that the Parental Commitment Ceremony takes place after the divorce is finalised and custody and access issues have been agreed, perhaps through family mediation. The Ceremony is not a celebration of the divorce, but it is a very clear sign to family and friends that as parents they will continue to work together as their love and commitment to their children remains forever. The ceremony marks a new start for the couple who are seeking new happiness as adults and this usually means for their children too. New partners, friends and wider family members, like grand parents, can also be involved.

If parents are not married, a Parental Commitment Ceremony can take place at any time. It might be that the parents are not even separating but a Naming Ceremony does not seem appropriate because the children are of school age. If unmarried parents are separating however, it might be timely to have a Parental Commitment Ceremony after custody and access has been negotiated and agreed, perhaps through family mediation.

What is in the ceremony?

In a Parental Commitment Ceremony, guests are welcomed and the reasons for having this ceremony is explained. Parents will in turn explain to their children in front of their guests, what their children mean to them, their love and life-long commitment to them despite the relationship with the other parent is now changed for good. Personal vows and commitments are made to each of the children. Wider friends and family could equally say vows to help both parents uphold their commitment. The ceremony can involve beautiful readings about parental love. A symbolic ritual of choice can be made if desired.

Where can it take place?

A Parental Commitment Ceremony can take place in any venue. It could be a hired neutral venue or alternatively it could be an informal location like a private house or garden.